Can't Lose If You Don't Play

04/21/2012

Let us return to Dawson’s Lagoon, where we will visit our favorite characters from the hit Columbia TriStar television show. "It's the end of everything simple. And the beginning of everything else." The characters of DC can be so mysterious, always confounding the viewer with their cyclical drama and wordy barbs. What I really value about this book series is how we are transported directly into the characters' maze-like minds:

In this week's all-new original tale, Tough Enough, Dawson and the creek gang are forced to endure outdoor bonding activities at Wilderness Camp. But that arbitrarily wrought premise is really beside the point- the point being Dawson's ongoing need to validate himself as a cinephile by dropping movie titles incessantly. So here’s the movie roundup for Tough Enough:

(left to right: Out Of Africa, Giant, Deliverance, Misery, The Postman Always Rings Twice, The Great Santini, Psycho, Body Heat, Revenge of the Nerds, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm, Where the Boys Are, Blair Witch Project).

A weird amount of emphasis is placed on the movie Deliverance, as the characters appear to be engaged in a contest to determine who can drop the most Deliverance references in one Wilderness Camp weekend:

Jen wins!
AND NOW it's time for a contest of our own: the much-awaited Dawson’s Lagoon Micro Fan Fiction Contest. Readers, I invite you to send me your best sentence featuring Dawson, Joey, Jen and Pacey (and Jack? even though his only purpose is to make depressing asides about the breakfast of his institutionalized mother?) at wilderness camp. Feel free to include Melisha, the other Jack, and our friends from the world of K-Kemp. Let worlds collide, people!

Keep in mind, Dawson’s Creek was known for the improbable verbal dexterity of its characters (subtext, anyone?). So extra points for including words from the Don't Scream Vocabulary List I have thoughtfully compiled.

your friend,
maggie

04/11/2012

When school started that year, I realized pretty quickly that there was no one I could talk to about my momentous gay summer. Like on Degrassi how Yick slams Arthur for wearing a beret after his tour of Europe (“Everyone in France wears them!”). Sure, perhaps you’re not 100% certain about that canary yellow beret, Yick, but there’s no need to be quite so derisive. Arthur is trying to share his gay experience France trip with you! LET IT HAPPEN, YICK. Of course to be fair, Arthur isn't being a very good listener either- but who wants to hear about Yick's trashy new mall friends anyway?

m

03/30/2012

OK, I’m bored. C ya camp! There was supposed to be another whole issue, but I’m so bored I’d rather clean my room than draw ten panels of me mooning over Meg and bragging about my D.E..
LET’S ALL GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

But first, allow me to bring you Where Are They Now? Camp Edition.

Alicia
Unknown. We talked on the phone a few times our senior year, and she said she’d written her college essay about our friendship. After that we lost touch completely and I have no idea how to find her.

Anne
Two years ago I was in Chang Mai Thailand, and out of nowhere I bumped into Anne on the street. She was there with her lover, A FEMALE, and they had lots of funny stories about taking cooking classes in Phuket Town. She told me she had quit the tennis circuit and formed a cool band called Natasha. Here is one of their songs, which I guarantee will be your new favorite dance tune: 10 Cents a Dance

Vicky

Unknown. I hope she’s still out there wearing sports bras and taking zero bullshit from anyone.

Meg

Unknown. We hugged three times on the last day of camp; that was it. I tried to get her alone, but it was impossible with all the tents in chaos and parents invading the premises. I wrote her three letters that September, but she never replied. I think I had the wrong address. She didn’t come back to camp the next year.

Becca
She shot her D.E. two days after me. I heard she’s a math teacher now.




Girl who slapped me
Unknown. I don’t even remember her name. I do remember being impressed at how angry she was on Becca’s behalf. Nothing impresses me more than demonstrations of loyalty.

OK, BYE CAMP.