When I got to college, I decided I would carry around Euros in the hope that this would happen:

I think maybe it happened once, and I probably looked mentally deficient, if not transparently affected. Luckily it was first year, which is just a trail-run for your personality. In your second year, you can easily drop all your first-year friends and commit to new, more carefully considered elements of your persona.

Tell me, dear readers, what funny affectations have you tried out in your time? Did you “wake with the dawn,” or pretend to be an orphan? Did you quote Leibniz, or wear scarves? Tell us all!

your friend and confidant,